Two Blue Lines? Get ready…

Congratulations on getting a positive pregnancy test…

Now what? Everything is up in the air and you may be wondering what to do?

I like to be prepared… but I wasn’t when I got pregnant for the first time. I had NO IDEA.

We’d sort of lucked out of the “trying to conceive phase” and got our “Big Fat Positive” (TTC and BFP in pregnancy jargon) on our second cycle. We were muddling through and starting to learn lots of things from the internet, apps and talking to other parents. We’d got 9 months to get to grips with everything…

But we were not prepared for the NOW. Sure I’d been looking at lists such as “what to do before the baby arrives” or a “hospital bag checklist”. However, these are all 9 months in the future. I’m talking about looking after yourself right now…

Now the last thing I want to do is put a dampener on your excitement and joy… but… there are a couple of things it helps to prepare for…

1 in 4 pregnancies can end in miscarriage in the first 12 weeks of pregnancy (ref Miscarriage Association). I’m not telling you this to scare or worry you. In fact I’m hoping that you will have a healthy and happy pregnancy that puts a beautiful baby in your arms.

But I’ve learnt the hard way that two blue lines doesn’t equal a baby. Being prepared with this knowledge would have helped me when it happened at almost 9 weeks. As we went through the process we gradually heard about how common and natural miscarriage is, usually because there is a problem with the baby that means they wouldn’t survive. The body knows what to do and does it.

Here’s a few things to prepare when you get that positive test…

The “Two Blue Lines” Checklist

Physical Stuff…

  • Give your partner a giant hug – you are one step closer to being parents!
  • Contact your GP surgery and ask how to register. Our area had a simple online “booking in” form that went directly to the midwife service at our local hospital.
  • Start taking folic acid supplements if you don’t already have them in your vitamins. You do get quite a lot from eating healthily. I had 400mg tablets. This helps the brain and nervous system form correctly – all this is happening straight away and is usually complete by 12 weeks. More info here on the NHS.
  • Drink plenty of water
  • Stash food – everywhere! In the car… in every bag… by the bed…  hunger can strike at any time. 
  • Wash your hands well to avoid any infections; wear gloves for icky jobs and gardening.
  • Check out the NHS pages on pregnancy – lots of answers here for all your worries.
  • Rest and relax if you get tired.
  • Buy some sanitary towels – you cannot use tampons if you have any bleeding
  • Also grab
    • Panty liners – useful in a range of gooey situations
    • Flushable wet wipes – great for cleaning up all sorts of messes
    • Antibacterial gel – for out and about clean hands
    • Overnight sanitary towels – just in case.
    • Maternity pads – you’ll need them after the birth anyway.

Mental Stuff…

  • Be prepared for your hormones to be all over the place, putting you on a very random roller-coaster.
  • Know that bleeding can occur in pregnancy and all be ok, with a healthy baby to hold at the end.
  • Understand that miscarriage is a natural and normal process that happens to 1 in 4 women in the first 12 weeks. It’s not usually anything that you’ve done wrong and cannot be stopped. Often its a problem with the baby that meant it would not have survived.
  • You may hear a wide variety of miscarriage figures: we did. We were told different things at different stages of the pregnancy and miscarriage.
  • Miscarriage doesn’t affect your fertility and many women go on to have a baby.
  • It’s ok to tell anyone, that you want to tell, when you are pregnant or if you miscarry. You know what is right for you and your situation. Don’t feel pressured to keep it to yourselves. There are lots of places that you can turn for help in any stage of pregnancy – I’m firmly of the opinion that it is best to ask as soon as possible.

As with life at every stage… it’s a journey with all the twists and turns along the way. I hope that you enjoy your journey and wish you all the best whatever happens.

Have I missed anything? Drop me a comment and I’ll update the list as things come up. I have to admit that my brain is still rather frazzled from dealing with the miscarriage, but that writing has also be very helpful. Please forgive any errors. 

Helpful places…

Rhyming with Wine
You Baby Me Mummy

 

 

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15 Comments Add yours

  1. I remember my first pregnancy and not knowing what to do. I think I might be pregnant again and can’t remember all the stuff I read up and studied up on! Do you recommend taking folic acid supplements on their own? I currently take a mutlivitamin that has folic acid, but maybe I should just focus on folic acid in the beginning. I still need to find an ob/gyn! #thelistlinky

    Liked by 1 person

    1. RawMum says:

      I can’t take the multivitamins as I’m lactose intolerant. I take the folic acid on its own, also calcium with vitamin D, and fish oil (not liver). If it’s in your multivitamin then you are probably alright. Check the box for levels of each thing… 400mg is enough for most ladies. Your obgyn will let you know if you need more.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Emma T says:

    Sorry to hear about your loss. As you say, it happens much more frequently than most people know going into pregnancy. This is a useful list – I didn’t even know that folic acid should really be taken in preparation for pregnancy too. It was the doctor who told me I should be taking it once I was pregnant #thelistlinky

    Liked by 1 person

    1. RawMum says:

      Thank you, it’s tough but I’m determined to pull through. It’s funny how much we don’t know, especially when we feel like we are making a big decision and have “thought it through”! Thank goodness for google and twitter friends.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. susielhawes says:

    Sorry to hear of your loss. I think you’ve got the early weeks all covered. I found it so hard not to tell people last time, 12 weeks feels like an eternity at the beginning before you can get the reassurance from the scan. Hope you are ok x #TheListLinky

    Liked by 1 person

    1. RawMum says:

      I’m glad I told my mum and sister as I really needed them when the miscarriage happened. I’m doing ok but the sadness will be around for a long while methinks. Thanks for the kind words.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I am so very sorry. With my first pregnancy I found out at the 12-week scan I will be miscarrying. It had never crossed my mind that something like that would happen but as you say 1 in 4. I will never get over it at all, but time makes it a little bit easier and now I have 2 little girls to keep me busy. πŸ™‚ x

    #dreamteam

    Liked by 1 person

    1. RawMum says:

      Time does help I guess. But not enough has passed yet. I feel robbed of my innocence. Glad you got your girls. Did it take much time? Scared to try again. πŸ€”

      Like

  5. I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through and for your loss. I admire your strength and positivity and the way that you have shared your experience to help and support other expectant mums. Love and hugs to you both xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. RawMum says:

      Thank you so much in turn for your lovely support as I wrestled my way through the peak of the awfulness. Very much appreciated, you really are an amazing caring person. Thank you 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I was honoured to be able to be there for you at such a difficult time. I just wish I could have done more. xx

        Liked by 1 person

  6. crummymummy1 says:

    A very honest list. I miscarried twice between number one and number two and nothing really prepares you for that #thelistlinky

    Liked by 1 person

    1. RawMum says:

      Sorry to hear about your losses. Nothing prepares you for it and it doesn’t go away either. Glad you got your two. Maybe I’ll find the pot of gold after the rain too? 🌈

      Like

  7. Oh lovely I am so sorry that you have had to go through this. And how strong are you to keep writing about how to prepare to help parents-to-be out there. Sending hugs. Thank you for sharing with the #DreamTeam

    Liked by 1 person

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