Today was our dating scan day. It has felt like an absolute age in coming around. I’ve been very tense and anxious, barely daring to hope that a tiny little being was safely growing inside me.
I hardly slept last night… not because I was laying awake worrying and imagining the worst case scenario though (which is often a reason for my insomniac nights). Last night I kept waking up wondering if it was morning yet… so when morning (ok 6am) came around I decide it was close enough and got up. I could have stayed in bed for much longer but this day just wanted to get started!
I ate my cereal and blearily walked back through to the kitchen. Turned around to go back up for a shower and wham!!! Argh! Ow!! (Insert many swear words here)…
I had kicked the jutting out wall in the kitchen, very very hard… I almost didn’t dare look and hopped to the bottom stair and collapsed in a heap. Oh yes that hurts! Why today? Why this morning? Well because no sleep = uncoordinated.
On close examination I determined that fourth toe was dislocated at first joint, probably second too. A wiggle and crunch nearly had me throwing up, ice pack quickly applied and crawled upstairs as hubby came out of shower. A little fear crawled into my brain and curled up alongside the other big fear of the day… was this an omen? Was this a sign that my fear of them finding nothing at the scan was going to come true?
Somehow managed to survive kicking the edge of bath tub getting in the shower, got dressed, gathered baby folder and food supplies, then got myself out of the door 5 minutes ahead of hubby.
Arriving at the maternity unit as the tentative excitement grew, we were shown to a new area and sat waiting with other tentative bumps and a few bigger bumps. At this point I realised that I might have been a bit overzealous in acquiring a full bladder to get “the best” scan picture possible. To say I was uncomfortable was an understatement!
We didn’t have to wait too long and I could barely breathe as I lay down on the couch. I warned the sonographer that I had a very full bladder. She explained that she would get the machine set up and then show us the screen after a minute or two… I knew instinctively that she meant once she had found the heartbeat… eyes squeezed shut and barely breathing I almost missed it… “there it is, a good strong heartbeat”… “look here and you can see it”…
Tears fell from beneath those eyelids and I opened my eyes to see a reassuring smile from my husband… turning the other way and seeing for the first time… our baby! Safe! Active! Very active!
It was all just too much and I sobbed as the relief coursed through me. That first moment is just so amazing and yet so indescribable!
It got more and more amazing as the pictures flowed across the big viewing screen. Eyes glued to the screen we both were in awe! Such detail! Arms, legs, spine, face details, heart pumping, bladder, even the separate lobes in the brain! Everything perfect and everything normal. Perhaps it is ok to start dreaming of our future together as a little family? Is there gold at the end of this particular rainbow?
Little bean was very active, waving hands and feet at us as if to say “Hi Mum and Dad, I’m here!” At one point they rolled almost all the way over towards to scanner. It was at this point I got sent to empty my excessively full bladder, much to my relief! After which Bean calmed down and deigned to have their picture taken!
In an absolute daze we sat back outside waiting for the blood test component. I just couldn’t stop staring at the pictures and marvelling at what was going on inside my tummy. I’m usually terrible with needles but I did fine and soon we were wandering out of the building. Excited Parents-to-be!