Anomaly Scan at 20 weeks

Where did the first 20 weeks go? Looking back it feels like it’s gone quickly but it has also dragged too! I’ve been so anxious that getting to the anomaly scan with a healthy baby has felt like an unlikely challenge over which I had no influence…

I’m not sure why I’ve been so anxious as I’ve only had one miscarriage, I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like for those who have suffered more losses, especially later ones. But there it is… the honest raw truth. I’ve not allowed myself to dream… to get excited… to start preparing for maybe having a child.

This feels so sad but I just couldn’t allow myself to be as naively excited and presumptuous as the very first time around. This in itself had made me worry about the worry and anxiety I’ve been feeding my unborn child. Wouldn’t it be best to have all those lovey-dovey endorphins and happy juices flowing around… come on pull it together and do the right thing for baby… But no matter how much I tried I just couldn’t.

Until…

This…

“a good strong heartbeat”


The best words ever… “Look at baby wiggle”“all is well”...

The kind sonographer must see it all but yet she gave me all the reassurance I desperately needed to hear as my anxiety was palpable. She then went about doing all the checks as Hubby and I watched on the screen. Happy tears rolled down my cheeks and Hubby stroked my hand while riveted to the tiny details flowing by on the screen.

Baby was indeed very wiggly and curious about being poked… they kept turning to face the probe which was not what the lady wanted! It took quite a while to get a good picture of the heart as rolly-pollies seemed the right response from Baby to all the prodding! I had to jiggle and turn but eventually we got the right angle… ouch and phew!

We’ve opted to have a gender surprise so we are team green all the way…

It hit me all of a sudden… I was actually going to have a baby… and a chink opened up… I could let those dreams peek through and start to believe!

Baby Chivrall is due end of Feb 2018!

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5 Comments Add yours

  1. Them are the best words ever aren’t they. I remember hearing the scanner say he has a strong heartbeat and you can relax a bit especially I previously suffered with a miscarriage so the anxiety was strong X #pocolo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. RawMum says:

      Totally. We are similar in that respect. Rainbows after the storm carry our hopes. 🌈❤️

      Like

  2. Great news – congratulations X And what a fab scan picture to have, despite the wiggles. Thanks for sharing with #PoCoLo x

    Liked by 1 person

  3. sriches says:

    Awwww what a wonderful image and please do allow yourself to get excited, but also get lots of rest! 🙂 #PoCoLo Sim xx

    Liked by 1 person

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