I had the dream… what does it mean?

Last night I vividly dreamed about giving birth. Not in the fearful worrying kind of way. It was calm and each stage was markedly clear with such high levels of emotions I woke up with tears on my face. 

I imagine that dreams of giving birth are probably not uncommon in pregnant ladies… but I’m not. One week ago today I held my 9 week old foetus in my hand and sobbed for the baby would never be. 

So last night I saw in my dream every stage… the intense cramping and contractions coming in waves… pushing strongly with my body… reaching down and feeling the head just about to come out… a wriggle and a pinch as a shoulder got stuck… relief as it released… a huge sliding sensation… pulling the baby up onto my chest myself… beaming smile on my face and looking around the room with such joy… calling for towels to get warm… putting the child up to my breast and a very odd tickly, tingly pulling sensation… very odd… and looking down on that content but wrinkly little face… then a very wet whoosh came all of a sudden…

And I woke up!

A bit dazed, I worriedly looked down there and half expected to see all sorts of fluids in the bed.  Luckily there wasn’t!! I went to the loo and all was good and then came back to bed wondering whether I was going to ever sleep tonight… and fell into the deepest and most restful sleep I’ve had in a while!

This morning I can recall with perfect clarity all that went on in my dream. 

So I started getting up and on with my day and just had to go and do a test. We are strangely looking for a negative result! It’s odd to be looking for just one blue line but you have to see a negative before you can start to try to conceive… I wasn’t going to do one today but something about the dream made me wonder…

So here it is…

…our sign and proof that our first pregnancy is completely finished. 

I’m not sure I’ve mentally processed any of this yet but there is a feeling of lightness, even if it is tinged with sadness. 

Yesterday at the beach we drew our names in a heart in the sand, and added the baby’s name too. It was rather poignant and sad but also great to acknowledge how real this life was to us. The tide will have washed it out to sea by now. Perhaps this is all part of letting go?

This was our first pregnancy so I’ve never experienced birth, I’d love to know whether any of the sensations were anything like the “real thing”… do drop me a comment and let me know what you think… 

My Petit Canard

13 Comments Add yours

  1. Tubbs says:

    I’m so sorry 😦


  2. Liane says:

    This post actually made me cry. You described labour and birth so wonderfully.
    I suffered from 5 miscarriages before my beautiful boy was born and then 4 years after that my daughter and 6 months ago my third child was born. Do not give up hope! Miscarriage is such an awful thing to have to go through 😦 I loved how you wrote their name in the sand. What a wonderful way to remember your beautiful baby x #MarvMondays

    Liked by 1 person

    1. RawMum says:

      Hi Liane. Wow that’s a lot of heartache but also a glimmer of hope on the horizon. We have started to try again but I keep having wobbles about whether I can cope. Thank you for sharing. It helps to not feel alone in my sadness. We keep finding new ways to remember. I’m wondering about sharing our babies name with our friends and family. At the moment only we know. Sorry for making you cry.


  3. Stephanie says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss.

    The dream is probably because you’re thinking about it so much. I don’t think I did ever dream about labor, and after I went into labor, I had a C-section shortly after, so I can’t comment on whether your dream was realistic either. I do hope you keep trying and wish you good luck! #PoCoLo

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Kim Carberry says:

    Sending you the biggest of hugs…..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. RawMum says:

      Hugs help. Having lots of hugs I’m scared I’ll use them all up!


  5. I just read your previous post so I wasnt surprised at your dream. I am sure there are lots of things going on in your subconscious right now and perhaps dreaming of giving birth is part of what it needs to process and let go like you said.. Emily #MarvMondays

    Liked by 1 person

    1. RawMum says:

      I read it much like this too. It was brain’s way of letting me know that the body was done with the whole process. Dreams are funny things.


  6. crummymummy1 says:

    Your dream sounds a lot like birth to me! I’ve got three babies and have had two miscarriages – one of which was at around 9 weeks too. Fingers crossed for you x #PoCoLo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. RawMum says:

      It’s such an odd thing to dream that so vividly. Sorry to hear you’ve been through miscarriage too. Nice to know that babies can come too. Can’t wait to know where I am in cycle (or get two blue lines again) 🌈❤️


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